Either Kaley Cuoco has always been on the wrong side of desperate and crazy or her new husband Ryan Sweeting should rename his dick Joe Carroll*, because it makes hos do crazy shit. (* this will only make sense to those of you who watch The Following and yes, I only watch to learn what NOT to do if I’m ever a detective investigating a serial killing cult leader) Kaley went out with the tennis player turned full-time Mr. Cuoco in July and in the span of 8 months she moved him into her house, got engaged, married him and now she’s inked their wedding date in roman numerals into her back. Kaley Cuckoo really is THAT girl. Kaley probably told him she loved him before he even stuck the tip in for the first time and ten seconds after he pulled out, she had already ordered bath towels with their initials monogrammed into them from The Company Store.
Kaley makes hundreds of thousands of dollars per episode for The Big Bang Theory, so a few laser tattoo removal sessions are a drop in the bucket to her, but she won’t ever need to get rid of that tattoo. Judging by how fast these hos move, they’ll be divorced in six months and three months after that she’ll be engaged to a new dude and on December 31, 2014 she’ll marry her second husband. December 31st can be the date for all her future weddings! She just has to change a couple of those numerals that’s all.
And this seems like a good time to quote my eloquent and respectful cousin who had some wise words to say about his girlfriend asking him to tattoo her name on his chest. He said, “I won’t even tattoo my mom’s name on my body and I came out of her pussy.” Wise, poetic words to live by.