A state of emergency was declared in Hell yesterday by President Satan shortly after the internet erupted into a massive anger-based fireball in response to the release of Kanye West and Kim Turducken’s Vogue cover. Currently, there is still no fire in Hell; people are still pissed that Anna Wintour dedicated the April issue to those two fools. Subscriptions are being cancelled. Z-listers are starting shit with Buffy. Effigies of drowsy famewhore sluts are being burned in the town square.
But then a dove was released into the sky when Seth Rogen posted this beautiful picture to Twitter of himself and James Franco reprising the career-defining roles they played in Bound 3. Hopefully this will calm down the internet long enough for some of the hot fire to be returned to Hell. Let’s show them some mercy; they’re fucking freezing down there and there’s not enough devil-sized parkas to go around.
And Kim is so dumb, she’s still trying to figure out what’s different. “I don’t know what he changed, but I look so lifelike!”