Pamela Anderson’s Sons Know About Her Sex Tape

March 21, 2014 / Posted by:

I knew a kid in high school who lived everyone’s nightmare when he popped in a VHS and found that his parents had taped over Bio-Dome with a home movie of them bumping parent parts. So he did what any of us would do; he destroyed the tape, along with his innocence and ability to look his parents in the eye. Kids in the 90s had it so good: Bubble Tape, LA Gears, and the ability to make evidence of your parents doing gross shit disappear.  Sadly, kids of today live in constant fear that they might open up Xtube or YouPorn and come face to face with their mom doing unspeakable acts to that guy who used to bring the orange slices to soccer practice. Case in point: Pamela Anderson’s sons Brandon and Dylan Lee. In her interview with Elle Magazine, Pammy curses out that gossipy bitch The Internet for spilling the beans to her sons that their parents have a fuck video floating around:

“I don’t know if they’ve seen it, but they know about it.  They know about everything.  Stupid Internet.  I don’t know why everyone is so impressed with it.”

She doesn’t know why people are impressed? Clue in, Pammy; it starts with a T and ends with a OMMYLEE’SGIANTDICK. Regardless of why people still care about the Citizen Kane of celebrity sex tapes, I doubt Brandon and Dylan would even be phased by it. Tommy Lee’s house is probably lousy with groupies, so walking in on their dad fucking a plastic-tittied Barbie doll is about as common as walking in on him taking a dump and reading the newspaper. And Pamela only recently started wearing clothes in public, so I’m guessing the most overused phrase in their house growing up was ‘Mom, my friends are coming over. Can you put a shirt on?’

But if by chance they did accidentally see their parents sex tape, it still wouldn’t be nearly as traumatic as seeing their stepdad Rick Salomon’s sex tape“Oh my god, Dylan, why is he fucking that giant wonk-eyed stick bug???”

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