And in every picture of George Clooney with his new piece there’s always a half face in the darkness throwing a “So is this one getting two award shows seasons or just one?” side-eye.
After officially debuting their love with a not-at-all staged and totally natural photo-op for People in Tanzania, Clooney and his girlfriend Amal Alamuddin, which may or may not be the lead character’s name in the next Star Wars movie, left a hotel in NYC last night. People’s source, who works with Clooney, said that they have high hopes for Amal, because she’s an accomplished lawyer, isn’t trying to get in front of the spotlight and is on HIS level. I’m practically typing this blind right now, because my eyeballs got stuck when I rolled them after reading “she’s on his level.” That’s impossible! Nobody is on George Clooney’s level. You need a key to push the button marked George Clooney in the elevator (it’s above Heaven and God) and only George Clooney has that key.
Some say that Amal is “the one,” because she’s educated, doesn’t need Clooney’s help, has her own money and is on his level. Maybe she doesn’t want to be “the one.” Maybe she’s just humping on him to pass the time. Maybe this will end with Clooney crying at the altar while holding documents from his doctor saying he reversed that vasectomy after Amal left him for a 20-something catalog model. The cackles from Elisabetta Canalis, Sarah Larson and Stacy Keibler would burst all of our eardrums if that happened.
I mean in that picture above, it does kind of look like she’s making a face that says, “That’s right, bitch, walk behind me.”