Night Crumbs

March 19, 2014 / Posted by:

Based on the shit they’re wearing, I’m guessing that after their season finale event, the Pretty Little Liars chicks went off to host and act in a Murder Mystery Dinner – Hollywood Tuna

Never mind Hermione Granger and her boyfriend with a beard like Madge’s vintage sascrotch, tell me more about the hot bald hit man-looking piece behind them. And to answer the question in your head, I don’t know what standards are and will you stop asking me if I have any! – Lainey Gossip

Why did I think Cameron Diaz was holding the tampon that fell out of her poon? – Drunken Stepfather

If Chelsy Davy doesn’t turn Prince Hot Ginge’s drunken voicemails into a dance remix, she’s not human and must be excommunicated from this planet – Celebitchy

Tired of Jon Gosselin getting all of the attention on Couples Therapy, Kate Gosselin returns to TLC with her child army giving us an update on the life that we don’t really care much about – Reality Tea

“Um, err, we rebuke that trash!” said the Illuminati – The Superficial

The only thing I care about is whether or not Katherine Helmond is going to officiate Danny Pintauro’s wedding – Towleroad

The Giver, The Host, The Hunger Games… All those YA novels turned movies sound like keywords I type into Craigslist Casual Encounters when looking for a trick – Pajiba

And what is this “backMiley Cyrus is singing about? – IDLYITW

Brace yourselves and get your cringe face ready, Blake NotSoLively is trying to “act” again – Popoholic

Seven words I’m ashamed to type: Panty Creamer of the Day Tim McGrawICYDK

Ryan Reynolds just because – Popsugar

Aw, this picture from Teresa Giudice and Juicy Joe’s first date is kind of adorable. You decide which is which – The Berry

I speak on behalf of the world when I say that we’d like the gift receipt for your big wookie pussy, Khloe Kardashian, and we’d also like you to point us toward the returns department – HuffPo

There’s zero shots of Sean Penn’s charbroiled Snausages nipples in these Charlize Theron bikini pictures, so your retinas are safe – Just Jared

Malibu just got 9,000% more insufferable – Celebslam

If Bruce Jenner really is transitioning, this is what the end result is going to look like – SOW

PROGRAMMING NOTE: Technical issues were fucking with Dlisted today, so the CAPTION THIS Contest took the day off. It’ll be back tomorrow.

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