Dear TSA: This Swiss Army knife wasn't detected through security and I unknowingly carried it on board. Scary! pic.twitter.com/C996LjZa2P
— Amanda Seyfried (@AmandaSeyfried) March 14, 2014
Amanda Seyfried must still be pissed about that time she arrived at LAX and they DIDN’T HAVE A GREETER FOR HER, because she’s once again mad as hayull and this time it’s at the TSA. Damn, Africa’s friend, what happened? What did airports ever do to you? Well, besides NOT HAVING A GREETER.
On Friday, Amanda opened her bag to discover that she had accidentally carried a Swiss Army knife aboard her flight after TSA agents failed to find it in her bag. In case you haven’t flown in the past 10 years, or the numbers 9 and 11 don’t ring a bell, carrying a knife on a plane is sort of a major no-no. Hell, I’m pretty sure that so much as looking at a picture of a knife in the SkyMall catalogue will set off the alarms and put you to the front of the line for a “random search”. So naturally Amanda was shocked. And then overjoyed like it was Christmas fucking morning, because she had leverage against her worst enemy, the airport.
Finding out that the TSA missed the knife in your carry-on is like finding the national security equivalent of the Burn Book, so Amanda took to Twitter to publicly rub their nose in it. However, the TSA doesn’t have Twitter, so it was only made aware of its mistake after the IRS texted them saying “OMG have u seen what that btch Amanda said about u on Twitter? Are u so pissed??”
And I don’t believe for a second that Amanda ‘forgot’ she was carrying that knife; this is her revenge on LAX for Greetergate! I bet she wrapped that knife in 4-layers of plastic wrap, sealed it in a Ziploc freezer bag, sunk it into a bottle of conditioner, packed the conditioner in a box of tampons, and casually dropped it into her bag, all while cackling “NOBODY FUCKS WITH MY GREETER AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!!”