Open Post: Hosted By The Porn Iguana On Her Throne

March 14, 2014 / Posted by:

Things are going to be awkward at Buckingham Palace for a while. Because when THE QUEEN sees the Porn Iguana sitting on a throne that is more regal and opulent than hers, she’s going to throw a Corgi at a whore. A truly refined queen will only lay her royal limbs on an old chair that was found in a salvage yard and spray painted gold. Behold, this is what true royalty looks like.

Courtney Stodden, the Queen of America California Hollywood Hollywood Adjacent Sunset Blvd The Parking Lot Behind Crazy Girls Strip Club, held court at Style Fashion Week L.A. (whatever that is) last night and only allowed a select few to breathe in her beauty and amphibian elegance live and in person. As she lounged on a chair that’s made of more natural materials than she is, she closed her eyes for a second like the delicate and demure baby iguana she is and everybody ate their breaths, because they felt the emotions the Prince felt when he was about to kiss Sleeping Beauty awake. That picture looks like a still from Brazzers’ version of Sleeping Beauty called Sleeping Real Doll. Enchanting.

Here’s more of the Porn Iguana and her twink nymphs spreading glitter throughout the land. I bet all of the homely hags who were at the Oscars wish they had a time machine and could go back to Oscar night. Because they’d accessorize their gown with a fake Louis Vuitton bag they bought in the trunk of a Toyota in the Valley.

Pics: Wenn.com

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