Night Crumbs

March 14, 2014 / Posted by:

Three seconds after this picture of ASkars leaving the gym was taken, the slots in those parking meters squirted out jizz. They might be pregnant now – Lainey Gossip

By the end of the first episode of Celebrity Apprentice, the only thing left in the boardroom will be a pile of blood-covered polyester weaves. I can’t wait! – Reality Tea

Oh please, like the refined and delicate amphibian lord Bendadick Cumsinbatches really gets into fist fights like a commoner – Celebitchy

The time I mistook Joanna Krupa for a male Wonky McValtrex impersonator – Drunken Stepfather

What’s really shocking is that Shaq took time away from downloading apps to play Plead the Fifth with Andy CohenTowleroad

Yup, that’s definitely the face of an asshole who just got a DUI and made a baby with Michael LohanThe Superficial

Vanessa Hudgens looks like she’s wearing a leather car seat – Hollywood Tuna

Kirk Cameron just has a face that you want to hit with a Subway foot long – Pajiba

Based on that sketch, Amanda Bynes should skip fashion school and design Bratz dolls – IDLYITW

Correction: An Avril Lavigne and Nickelback tour would be the most depressing (and diarrhea-inducing) tour ever – Jezebel

Hipsters. – Popsugar

The Real Housewives of Atlanta’s class dunce is not dating that dictator’s son – Reality Tea

Gross, but I’d still let him stick the tip in – Tosh.0

Hilary Duff’s legs look like a pack of Twizzlers – Popoholic

Zoe Saldana is going to “let herself go” after marriage, which means that she’ll eat two lemon seeds for dinner instead of just one – ICYDK

Xtina’s (made up) fuck list is here, and let’s be real, we’ve all done the guy in front of us at Chipolte – OMG Blog

Ricky Martin gives the paps a hairy nips and tramp stamp show on the balcony – Just Jared

Happy Fap (and Treasure Trails) Friday! – The Berry

I see that White Oprah hacked Kate Dennings’ Twitter – SOW

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