Lindsay Lohan’s 2 Broke Girls Taping Was A Damn Disaster

Although Lindsay Lohan’s brain grades on the same curve as a lazy dog trainer, so the fact that she ever showed up at all means she gets 3 gold stars and a home-made ribbon from White Oprah that says “YOU DID IT!” in glitter glue and craft feathers. But don’t ask to see the ribbon, because it’s been disassembled and picked clean of dried glue.

For the 2,948th time, Lindsay Lohan is fucking up her latest chance at a comeback, a guest spot on the sitcom 2 Broke Girls. According to Radar, Enty of CDAN was in the audience during the Tuesday taping and it sounds like she ran lines with a Costco jug of vodka, because bitch couldn’t remember shit:

“There is not a member of the audience who couldn’t do a better job than Lindsay Lohan last night. It took about 45 minutes to shoot because she never could get through without screwing up. She would get one line and screw up another.”

He also goes on to say that the two bloated humpback slugs on her face weren’t making things any easier (those brats!):

“Lips so plumped out she couldn’t really get them open because of her Botox, which also caused her to have trouble pronouncing certain words.”

But the cherry-flavoured Ambien on the shit sundae was when Blohan answered her cell phone. IN. THE. MIDDLE. OF. A. SCENE:

“45 minutes later when the audience can see the finish line of this scene, a cell phone starts ringing. Loudly. “I’m sorry, that’s mine. Hello. I have to call you back.” Yes, it was Lindsay’s phone.”

If I had to guess who was on the other end of the phone, it was probably Lindsay from 2 years in the future, warning her that this might be her last chance at a career renaissance and she needs to take it seriously. SIKE! It was White Oprah begging her to stop at the liquor store on the way home because they’re all out of boxed wine and Corn Nuts (you really thought Lindsay from 2 years in the future would remember how to operate a phone?)

Pic: Kat Dennings