For those of you watch TLC’s Little People, Big World, you’re probably making the same “….and?” face you’d make if I told you that water is wet, the sky is blue and Valtrex sends Lindsay Lohan a commission check every month for bringing them new users. Matt and Amy Roloff’s marriage seemed about as shaky as a mammogram machine that’s got one of Aretha Franklin’s 8th world wonder titties on it. When Amy wasn’t yanking at his nuts, he was being a dick to her. The Roloff’s marriage has most likely been in a coffin for a while, but they’re telling the public now, because their split is featured in a special airing on TLC later this month. Amy and Matt gave this statement to People:
“Though we have weathered many storms together, we recently made the tough decision to engage in a trial separation. Matt remains living on the farm in our guest house and we work together everyday on the farm, on our business endeavors and most importantly, raising our amazing children.”
Matt and Amy have 5 kids together including 20-year-old Molly, 17-year-old Jacob and 23-year-old twins Jeremy and Zack.
We all know what’s going to happen next since we’ve all seen this movie before (see: Jon & Kate). Matt is going to go wild, get himself a pussy pad in NYC, cover his body with the finest couture that Ed Hardy has to offer and he’ll star in a sex tape with one of Miley Cyrus’ back-up dancers before he gets another DUI and then moves into a cabin deep in the woods. (And no, I am not here for your Keebler Elves jokes.)