File Under WTF: Rooney Mara Will Play Tiger Lily In An Upcoming Peter Pan Film

March 12, 2014 / Posted by:

Oh, you say you don’t remember Tiger Lily as being a moody white girl sourpuss? What a coincidence…neither do I. NEITHER DOES ANYBODY. Casting Rooney Mara as Peter Pan’s Native American princess friend is 1000 Neverland-colored shades of NO. And if you’re an actress who’s 1/16th Navajo or greater, stop dialling your agent to bitch them out for not getting you an audition, because according to Variety, you were never even in the running.

Warner Bros. has tapped Rooney Mara to play Tiger Lily in its Peter Pan origin tale “Pan.” The world being created is multi-racial/international – and a very different character than previously imagined.

The studio took on an exhaustive search in finding the right girl to play Lily looking at other actresses such as Lupita Nyonog’o and “Blue is the Warmest Color” thesp Adele Exarchopoulos before going out to Mara for the role.

There’s so much WTF in that statement for my brain to process, that it gave up and is currently soaking in the bath with a box of wine and a bag of Doritos, so let’s see if I can tackle this one on my own. First off, we have a Peter Pan origin story; it’s called Hook and it’s perfect. The End. Second, the cast is already heavy on the white people (Garrett HedlundHugh Jackman) so if you’re creating a “multi-racial/international world”, maybe don’t swap out a Native American character for another white one. Thirdly, you looked at Lupita Nyong’o, but you passed on her for Rooney Mara? I’d ask if Lupita is being considered for Tinkerbell, but I’m afraid to find out you also see Tinkerbell as a “very different character” who now keeps it real through farts, and cast Jennifer Lawrence.

Since this is supposed to be some edgy multi-cultural nü-Pan shit, maybe they’re planning on making Tiger Lily a cyborg, or a half-tiger/half-lilypad mutant, but she’s probably going to just look like a white chick at Coachella. And no word from the original Tiger Lily, but chances are this is what she thinks of this mess:

718369-tiger1_large

“If I wasn’t tied to this anchor, I’d be making some serious HELL NO, HO hand gestures right about now.”

(Pic: Splash)

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