Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux haven’t been papped together for 86 days, 14 hours, 12 minutes and 45 seconds (I made those numbers up, but I’m sure a high level Brangeloonie will correct me), but yesterday they mysteriously came out of Barney’s in NYC together on the same day that two new US posters for Maleficent came out. Coincidence, I think not! Jennifer Aniston’s team obviously hacked into the system of Disney’s marketing department, found the exact date when they were planning to release the new US posters for Maleficent and then she staged a choreographed pap stroll with Anarchist Eddie Munster on the same day. What won’t that shameless heffa do to get all the attention on her?! And of course she had to borrow Beyonce’s Temper-Pedic Bump® to get her 500th “THERE’S A BABEH IN THERE” cover of Life & Style. I’m surprised she didn’t stop in front of the paps and queef out a newborn real quick. She’s probably saving that move for Maleficent’s release date.
*This post sponsored the International Association of Brangeloonies Against Aniston Stunts*