Paula Patton Is Probably Going To Take Robin Thicke Back

March 10, 2014 / Posted by:

Robin Thicke has loudly let it be known that he wants his wife of over 8 years Paula Patton back and he’s done everything except for hold a boombox outside of her bedroom window. But I’m sure he’s currently being fitted for a trench coat to make that happen. Robin told the audience at one of his shows last month that he was trying to get his girl back and at his show in Atlantic City last week, he did a cover of “Let’s Stay Together” and dedicated it to Paula. TMZ says that Robin’s public displays of begging are working and Paula is close to taking him back. “What a surprising and shocking development,” said not one bitch.

TMZ says that sources in Robin and Paula’s circle (there’s several finger banging jokes in there) are telling them that she is slowly stepping away from divorce papers and is considering giving their marriage another try. Even though Paula is not impressed with Robin’s eye roll-worthy public declarations of love, she’s been talking to him over the phone all the time and telling him what he needs to do to make their marriage work. Those phone calls must be really short. Because if Paula’s telling him what to do to keep their blessed union intact, she’s probably only saying 10 words to him: “Keep your ho shit antics on the down low, slut.

Sources also tell TMZ that Robin’s been hanging out with their kid when he can and that pleases Paula.

For those of you who labeled Robin and Paula’s split as a shameless stunt, this is playing out exactly the way you thought it would play out.

1. Paula tells the media that she’s broken up with Robin after he gets caught with his sticky fingers in the cookie jar. (The cookies were oatmeal in case you wondering.)

2. Robin acts like a devoted and caring husband by publicly telling everyone that he wants to save his marriage.

3. Robin and Paula leak stories to TMZ about how he’s begging her to take him back and she’s like “whatever” but is slowly warming to the idea.

4. Paula and Robin declare that they’re back together on the cover of People and the headline is: “NO MORE BLURRED LINES! We’re Fighting For Our Love!” Robin is husband of the year! Paula is wife of the year! Their marriage is marriage of the year! Everyone forgets about those open marriage rumors! And cherubs put down the arrows they were going to stabs themselves in the hearts with, because true love is restored! Meanwhile, groupie whores hoping to get a piece of Robin shrug, because they know the game he’s playing. And Katy Perry makes a sad face, because her dream of publicly dating every man slut in The Man Slut Trifecta is over for now.

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