Hot Slut Of The Day!

March 10, 2014 / Posted by:

The HBO GO buffering wheel of doom, which spun and spun and spun until True Detective watchers went crazy, blacked out and woke up in a cluttered office where they mumbled out garbled words no one could understand while surrounded by empty cans of Lone Star beer. (Side note: That computer monitor really should’ve been HSOTD today.)

If you heard your neighbor scream, “JUST KILL ME,” last night, you probably figured that they were in the middle of watching Lindsay Lohan go through #lindsaylohanproblems (examples: finding a multi-million dollar SoHo apartment to rent with OWN’s money, dealing with the paparazzi she called, etc…) on Lindsay. But I’m guessing they were losing their minds over that other show about a deranged psychopath who has no sympathy for other humans. The season finale for True Detective happened last night for everyone who watches it on regular HBO and steals that shit from torrents, but it didn’t really happen for hos who watch it on HBO GO.

HBO GO couldn’t handle all the people trying to watch the True Detective finale last night and when the system broke, so did the souls and sanity of those who just wanted to know who the goddamn the Yellow King (“Hey, that’s what Kim used to call me!” – Ray J) is. People screamed about it on Twitter and I haven’t seen hos get this upset over a black hole since Backdoor Farrah’s porn. HBO tweeted out a sowwy, but apologies are cheap to the people who had to awkwardly call the friend they haven’t talked in forever to ask if they changed their HBO GO password.

I didn’t watch last night’s finale, because I’m 2 episodes behind, so don’t tell me who the Yellow King is. But it’s totally the endless pee stream that the Texas T-Rex pissed out from drinking all that damn beer, right?

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