Juan Pablo Galavis Is The “Worst Bachelor Ever”

March 8, 2014 / Posted by:

And I know I should clarify, because everything about ABC’s The Bachelor is the worst; except for Molly the dog, who should be given all the roses, Milk Bones, and the stuffed animal of her choice to hump on (she was the greatest thing to ever happen to this messy train wreck). But according to E! Online, Juan “Eees Okae” Pablo is the worst-worst. Wait a second…a guy who ditched his daughter to dry hump a dozen drunk randos in a hot tub turned out to be a jerk? You don’t say!

“Everyone on the show is just so over him and cannot wait for this season to be over,” a source connected with the dating competition series told us.

The insider added that producers and crew members have never been so ready for a season of the Bachelor to end. ”It has not been anyone’s favorite, that’s for sure.”

A second source dished to us that people working on the program have been saying that “he’s the worst bachelor ever.”

Well shucks, that seems awful mean. I wonder why people don’t like Juan Pablo? Let’s see…gay people probably don’t like him because he said they’re all a bunch of dick-hungry sluts. He pissed off a lot of people when he made an R-word joke and then refused to apologize for it. He says he’s a Venezuelan soccer star, but he hasn’t actually played professionally since 2008. He’s pretty much unemployed and still lives at home with his parents. Oh, and he slut shamed a chick he fucked in the ocean.

That’s all we’ve got for now, but it’s still early, so let’s cover all our bases and say he also parks in the handicap spots at the mall, cheats on his taxes, and only tips 6% at Olive Garden. HOW DARE YOU, JUAN PABLO! Those breadsticks deserve at least 15%!!

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