In between tripping down the red carpet, riffing to the audience at the Academy Awards, and stuffing her face full of pizza, Jennifer Lawrence appeared to be going for a new personal best in regards to convincing us that even though she’s at the Oscars, she’s still just a frumpy food-hongray bridge troll who snuck into Hollywood and keeps it rill by ripping farts in her Dior dress. However, some people thought she might be laying in on a little thick, one of which being Jesus’s druggy fuckup brother Jared Leto, who all but dramatically screamed “STUNT QUEEEEEEN!” when asked by Access Hollywood about J-Law:
Shortly before presenting an award, Lawrence looked into the crowd and said, “Why are you laughing? What, is this funny? I’m still watching you!”
And it seems as though Leto, and his family, were to blame for the distraction just moments after she walked out onto the stage.
“She said, ‘What are you laughing at?’ But what she didn’t know was that Ellen [DeGeneres] was on the side…making, pantomiming [motions like], ‘Don’t fall, don’t fall!’, and my mom and brother are all cracking up,” he revealed.
“I guess we don’t have manners. You can take them out of Louisiana, but you can’t take the Louisiana out of them, right?”
That would be enough evidence for the government to make you mysteriously disappear. But I guess Jared keeps it more real than J-Law and doesn’t give a fuck about taking America’s Sweetheart’s name in vain, because he then said this:
The Dallas Buyers Club actor jokingly dissed J.Law when asked what he thought about her latest falling incident:
“You know, I’m starting to wonder if this is a bit of an act.”
And immediately after the last word left his lips, a cloth bag was thrown over Jared’s head and he was ushered away into protective custody, where he’ll live out the rest of his life as a pharmacy assistant at a New Mexico Walgreens under the assumed name of Darren Sbarro.