Four years ago, Kelly Osbourne won a spot in my cold, dark heart (don’t worry, there’s a pile of blankets and a space heater) when she hissed the word butterface in Lady Gaga’s general direction, and their capital B bitch-feud was born. For years they’ve been going back and forth hurling insults like rotten pieces of cake (with one of the insults, quite literally, being a cake), but sadly both bitches went soft and decided to pack their insults away in the attic. NOOOOOOOO! Won’t somebody PLEASE think of the passive-aggressive cakes??
According to Radar, the acrylic nail glue version of the Hatfield-McCoy feud finally came to an end last night at Elton John’s annual Oscar viewing party. Kelly proved to the world that her and Lady Gaga had each extended the other a pastel fiberglass olive branch by Instagramming a pic of herself playfully choking Gaga with the caption: #peace at last. I know; I too was hoping that peace at last was a reference to her trying to choke out any future songs from Gaga’s vocal cords.
I’m not thrilled that Kelly has buried the hatchet with Gaga (I know, how dare I insult Hatchet Face like that) because I think it speaks very very poorly of her sanity and judgement, but sometimes you just gotta say Fuck It and re-route your energy into hating more important things…like the person responsible for going so heavy on the Photoshop that they ended up making you look like Kim Kardashian dry fucked Dame Edna.
Here’s more of Kelly at Elton John’s 22nd Annual AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing/After Party looking like if Betty Draper had an eccentric sister from Baltimore who’s best friend is a poodle named Cha-Cha, as well as Lady Gaga at both the Oscars and the Vanity Fair after party. Say Something Nice: the lace on Gaga’s wig is a very hard worker.