…as Jared Leto snatches the last breath out of your mouth with his spectacular beauty. And I see that Emily from Revenge disguised herself as a PA and is back to her old schemes.
After Jennifer Lawrence stole another piece of America’s heart by busting out a staged, choreographed and manipulative STUNT QUEEN fall on the red carpet at the Oscars yesterday (yes, my name is Michael and I am a Jennifer Lawrence Fall Truther), she lost the Best Supporting Actress Oscar to Lupita Nyong’o and backstage she jokingly tried to steal the trophy. What won’t that shameless white she-devil do for attention?! But really, Jennifer Lawrence was the Jennifer Lawrence-iest last night, but when Lupita won she seemed excited, happy and kind of relieved. Jennifer Lawrence was probably relieved because if she won she was planning to out-do her fall from last year by taking a falling anvil to the head during her speech. When Lupita’s name was announced, Jennifer’s assistant was in the rafters above and said, “phew,” before pulling up that anvil and calling it a day.
And yes, Lupita’s speech was the best:
Even the soulless, emotionless fancy komodo dragon from Neptune that is Benedict Cumberbatch felt feelings and got the weepies in his eyes during Lupita’s speech. They’re starting to FEEL.
Here’s Lupita at the Oscars and also some pictures of her and Jennifer Lawrence at Vanity Fair’s party. No to Lupita’s Claire’s headband and no to Jennifer Lawrence’s hair. Jennifer Lawrence probably figured that Slick Willie would be at one of the parties and he’d never hit on her if she had Hillary Clinton hair. Wise move, JLaw.