Damn Those Rude Whores At The Oscars For Not Giving Kim Novak A Standing Ovation

March 3, 2014 / Posted by:

I usually hate standing ovations, because standing is hard and requires energy, but those bitches in the audience at the Oscars stood up for U2 yet they didn’t bother pulling their lazy asses out of their seats when living legend Kim Novak came out? Priorities: They ALL need to rethink them. Kim Novak’s filler sister Rose McGowan knows what I’m talking about.

Kim Novak trended on Twitter last night when she presented Best Animated Feature with the Texas T-Rex and her face looked like it was paying homage to the winner Frozen. Kim Novak is 81, she’s bipolar, she fell out of a bell tower twice in Vertigo, she survived breast cancer and suffered nerve damage when she fell off of a horse in 2006, so who cares if she went into some plastic surgeon’s office, pointed at The Jocelyn Wildenstein Puppet Face Special on the menu and said, “Give me that and super size it!” I couldn’t hate on Kim Novak if you told me the plastic in her face was liquefied CROCs. (Okay, I’d hate on her just a little if that was the case.) Kim seemed out of it, but she’s 81 and she still did a better job at presenting than a certain fraudulent bitch in a dead guinea pig wig (JOHN TRAVOLTA!).

Again, Kim Novak is 81! When I’m 81, I won’t be able to talk, walk or even read words on a teleprompter, because I plan to be stoned, drunk, high and all of the above the entire time. Besides, Kim was in Falcon Crest! Anybody who was in Falcon Crest can do no wrong. (Well, except for that piece of trash Lorenzo Lamas. He did wrong by letting go of the best thing that ever happened to him: Shauna Sand!)

Pics: Wenn.com, Splash

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