Bitch’s Wiglet Is Too Tight: The John Travolta Edition

March 2, 2014 / Posted by:

Either the half-dead Papillon clinging to John Travolta’s head squeezed his skull too tight or he was busy thinking of massage therapist dick, because he royally messed up Idina Menzel’s name tonight. Scientology’s very own pretty, pretty princess introduced Idina Menzel’s performance of “Let It Go” (which is what Travolta needs to do to that wig) at the Oscars tonight and he couldn’t have screwed up her name more than he did. A slurring drunk with a lisp would pronounce Chiwetel Ejiofor’s name better than Travolta pronounced Idina Menzel’s name. Hell, if Travolta had to pronounce Chiwetel Ejiofor’s name, he probably would’ve cast some kind of spell on all of us and tomorrow we’d all be fingering a massage therapist’s b-hole.

ADELA DAZEEM? Xenu, please get your child a copy of Rosetta Stone: Broadway Stars Edition.

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