Hot Slut Of The Day!

A’Me Lorain, pop chanteuse of the 90s and one-hit wonder!

I really don’t know why or how it happened, but a couple of nights ago while doing the dishes, I suddenly started singing, “Whispers in the dark don’t do, let’s hit the lights!” I wanted to kiss whatever part of my tattered and battered brain that held that highly important lyric in my head. Because “Whole Wide World” is a masterpiece and A’Me Lorain is an underrated pop genius who should be inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame every single year.

Every single morning, Brit Brit, Lady CaCa, Beyonce and RiRi look at their faces in the mirror and say, “Why can’t I be A’Me Lorain?!” Because A’Me Lorain was ahead of her time and she was like Stacey Q’s equally as talented, fashion forward and gorgeous sister. A’Me and her band The Family Affair, which included her brother and her then husband, put out one album in 1989 and their single “Whole Wide World” peaked at #9 on Billboard’s Hot 100 and #1 in my tween heart.

A’Me Lorain pretty much disappeared after “Whole Wide World” became one of 1990’s greatest achievements, and I’m going to guess that she realized that she couldn’t top herself and retired from the music industry and shunned public life. I’m guessing that she’s now raising Nigerian dwarf dairy goats in New England somewhere and it’s crazy that the goats she’s raising don’t even know what a genius she is. I mean:

Now whistle. Yes, I totally whistled.