Hot Slut Of The Day!

February 27, 2014 / Posted by:

Frank, the NYPD officer turned firefighter from SyFy’s Opposite Worlds, the reality show that you probably didn’t know existed since I’m pretty sure I’m the only one, besides the contestants’ family members and friends, who watched it.

Let’s say Survivor got severely bashed in the head with a plastic club by one of the Geico caveman and it really needed a blood transfusion and the only match was Big Brother who just injected blue meth into its veins. Then let’s say that after Survivor got that blood transfusion from a methed-up Big Brother, it got seriously nauseous and kept barfing until it had nothing left to barf up. It would keep dry heaving and dry heaving until finally it would vomit out a small puddle of bile and we’d call that small puddle of bile SyFy’s Opposite Worlds.

Opposite Worlds was some Jetsons vs. Flintstones shit. One team was dropped in the “future” where they wore all-white outfits from Lululemon and lived in a house that looked like an Ikea showroom in South Korea. The other team was dropped in the “past” where they lived in a freezing cold cave and had to shit in a hole and sleep on straw. So basically, they lived the same way I did during my first few years in NYC. Throw in a few past vs. future competitions, a budget of $3, a bunch of complicated rules and you’d have Opposite Worlds.

Last night was the finale and (SPOILER ALERT for the zero of you who care about being spoiled) Frank, the married father from Staten Island, won the whole thing. Frank was always my favorite trick on that show, because I knew he was everyone’s least favorite trick on that show. Frank is the perfect stereotype of a douchebag on AXE-scented roids. If Adam Sandler swallowed all the whores from Jersey Shore, he’d look like Frank.

I fell in love with Frank from the beginning and mostly because his glorious beast tits look like two shellacked stuffed chicken breasts sitting on a table outside of a restaurant to lure in customers and his eyebrows have been plucked to the point of no return.

Frank would also go into “beast mode” every time he won a challenge and that meant he’d ripped his shirt off while letting out the douche wail of victory. When he won last night, he tried to do it, but that ultra-tight Lululemon long-sleeved shirt just wouldn’t let him be great.

And that train wreck of a clip pretty much sums up the entire show….

Pics: SyFy, Video: Tumblr

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