I asked ‘Why?’ so many times during this story of Sam Worthington punching a paparazzi in the face that I had to step away from my desk and make a little plaque for it thanking it on its dedicated service as the most overused word in my vocabulary today (don’t worry – ‘fuck’ gets a runner-up trophy).
According to TMZ, actor Sam Worthington (skinny-legs from Avatar, “Perseus” from that movie where Liam Neeson shouts RELEASE THE KRAKEN) was out walking with his girlfriend, Lara Bingle (who’s name sounds like a fancy pink Christmas tree from the 70s) in Greenwich Village when a pap came up and kicked Lara in the shin. Sam reacted how most guys would if they saw someone kick their partner, and punched the pap in the face. Sam was then charged with assault and was released, and the pap, Sheng Li, was charged with reckless endangerment, assault, and harassment, and is still in the chokey.
Okay, so I have so many questions about this situation. Why did Sheng Li randomly kick Lara Bingle in the shin? What did Lara’s shin ever do to you, Sheng? Also, why were paps following Sam Worthington? Did I miss the memo that there’s a high demand for candid shots of the guy from Man on a Ledge?
But the most important Why is…why in the name of all that is holy were they out walking around in New York FOR FUN? It’s too fucking cold for that! The last time I checked, Satan and the bottom bitch he lets control the weather had dropped the temperature to Fuck You-degrees Fahrenheit; I’m sure Sheng Li was probably just trying to kick her back inside. “You wanna audition for the role of Jack Torrance’s frozen corpse in an off-Broadway production of The Shining? Git! Git back in the house! And take your dragon-fucking boyfriend with you!”