Finally, memaws everywhere can breathe a sigh of relief and get back to that needlepoint turkey pillow they were working on before the Dancing With the Has-Beens scandal rocked nursing home dining rooms and the window seat with the puzzles (it’s their water cooler). You couldn’t so much as brush your scooter past the TV Guide without Mabel or Stanley piping up to remind you to say a prayer for “that lovely brunette girl from the ballroom show who was fired.”
In case you’re not familiar with the hot goss at Shady Maples Retirement Community: Brooke Burke-Charvet shocked the world on Friday afternoon when she announced that she was unceremoniously given a bankers box and told to pack her desk, all her pageant-ass gowns, and turn in her security badge along with her hosting mic. Neither ABC nor Dancing With the Stars had much to say about giving her the boot, but they said pretty much everything by leaking news of her replacement today. E! Online says that a source has confirmed that Fox Sports reporter Erin Andrews will replace Brooke as Tom Bergeron’s co-host for the 18th season of DWTS. Like Brooke, Erin has also previously competed on the show, which is good, because she’ll be able to tell the difference between the dances (every dance is literally the cha-cha to me).
I don’t know much about this Erin Andrews woman, so I decided to do some research (aka throw her name into the internet and see what kind of information would get burped up). As soon as I started typing Erin Andrews, it auto-corrected to Erin Andrews Annoying Voice, so…we’re already off to a great start. Annoying, you say? How annoying? Annoying enough that I might start hate-watching Dancing With the Stars? However did ABC know I’d need something on Monday nights to replace The Bachelor once it ends. Thanks ABC! Your muffin basket is in the mail.