Plastic Lucky Cat in a brown wig Megan Fox gave birth to hers and Brian Austin Green’s second kid together on February 12 and they didn’t immediately run through the streets screaming the name of their newborn child, because they are selfish bitches who only think of themselves! I figured that Megan would name her second son Einstein after who she was reincarnated from. But after that baby was pulled out of her body, Megan and BAG lit up a joint and as they were clicking through the channels on TV, they stopped at Point Break and thought, “Fuck it, let’s name him after Patrick Swayze’s character.” Then they kept clicking through and landed on that Mel Gibson and Renee Russo movie and thought, “Fuck it, let’s give him Ransom as a middle name.” They named him Bodhi Ransom Green.
TMZ got a hold of the birth certificate which has their kid’s full name listed as Bodhi Ransom Green. Megan and BAG named their first kid Noah, so they decided to go full fuckery with the second one. Bodhi I sort of get, because Teresa Palmer just named her kid Bodhi, so naming your kid Bodhi is really IN right now in Hollywood or whatever. But Ransom? How is it a good idea for two celebrities (these two are still considered celebrity-ish-ish, right?) to give their kid the middle name Ransom? The New York Post headlines write themselves. Ransom Held For Ransom. I swear…
Bodhi Ransom sounds like the name of an old-timey Buddhist robber who steals from the rich and gives to the monks. Bodhi Ransom also sounds like the name of the title character in a Disney movie about a snowboarding dog who unwittingly joins the Winter Olympics US team and wins all the gold medals.
It’s not like these two are doing anything. That had days upon days to come up with a name. They had one job to do. BODHI RANSOM?!