Michelle Rodriguez Didn’t Tell The Mirror That She’s Doing Cara Delevingne Full-Time
The Internet’s clit got extra hot yesterday when The Mirror said that Michelle Rodriguez confirmed to them that she’s dating current it model and eyebrow game bronze medalist Cara DeliVinesorwhatever. MRod supposedly said that their relationship is going well and Cara’s real tough. I took that to mean that Cara is a bossy bottom or mostly the top. If The Mirror printed a headline that read, “John Travolta Gets The Drips From Looking At Light Brown Cock,” I’d look at it with suspect eyes, so I didn’t 100% believe that they talked to MRod, but I wanted to believe. But MRod’s rep tells Gossip Cop and TMZ that she never said words to The Mirror:
Michelle’s rep tells TMZ, the UK Mirror story — in which Michelle reportedly admitted to being in a relationship with Cara — is FALSE. The rep says Michelle never spoke to the Mirror.
MRod’s rep didn’t deny that she’s bumping ‘ginas with Cara, they only denied that she talked to The Mirror.
In The Mirror’s defense, Michelle Rodriguez is a stumbling mess and her head is filled with a cloud of nitrous oxide and Jack Daniel fumes that eat all of her memories, so she probably doesn’t remember who she talked to 2 seconds ago let alone 2 full nights ago. So MRod might’ve talked to them, she might’ve not talked to them or she might’ve spilled her heart out to a plastic ficus tree in the corner and The Mirror overheard their conversation. Those plastic ficus trees are so damn trustworthy when you’re wasted.
Here’s LiLo and SamRo 2.0 leaving the Elle Style Awards in London last night. They’re always hiding their faces in their laps. They look like they’re trying to lick their crotches (stretch before hand, bitches!) or like their teacher just screamed, “EARTHQUAKE DRILL!”
