I know. How dare I sully a picture of Rosie Perez by placing her beside the drugstore perfume half of Bennifer. Trust me, it was difficult; every time I tried to put Jennifer Lopez’s picture beside Rosie’s, Photoshop would crash and send me an error message that said: “Use a picture of Miss Chi-Chi Rodriguez instead. I refuse to be a part of this.” And according to Us Weekly, Rosie Perez would probably suggest the same. Later this week, Rosie is releasing her memoir titled Handbook for an Unpredictable Life, but excerpts from the book make it sounds like she wanted to call it She’s Still Jenny From The Block If The Block In Question Is Bitch St. and Shady Skank Ave:
The two met in 1991 during the open casting call for the show’s Fly Girl dancers. Perez was the show’s famed Fly Girl choreographer and claims that she was the one who convinced host and creator Keenan Ivory Wayans to pick Lopez.
“All of the girls were coming into my office complaining how she was manipulating wardrobe, makeup, and me, all to her advantage,” Perez wrote in her memoir, saying Lopez thought the girls were just “jealous.”
She then went on to say that the Grammy winner dropped her “sweet girl act” and “went off” on Perez like “some ghetto biatch, screaming and pounding her chest.”
Though the American Idol judge has credited Wayans with discovering her, Perez claims he thought she was “chubby and corny” and that she, in fact, was the one to encourage the hire.
I’m sorry, I know I should care about Jlo being a massive ‘biatch’, but the minute that devastatingly wonderful phrase “chubby and corny” started giving me the warm tinglies, I realized nothing else mattered. ‘Chubby and corny’ might be my go-to insult from now on (and I know exactly who to start with).
And I’m not making excuses, but Rosie Perez needs to understand that JLo wasn’t being a ghetto biatch (an insult to true ghetto biatches everywhere) she was just fulfilling her destiny of creating greatness. Rosie should be thanking JLo for all that aggressive ambition; without it, we might never have gotten true cornerstones of culture like Anaconda, Maid in Manhattan, Gigli, Monster in Law, The Back-up Plan, and her dynamic character work in the video for Get Right.