Hot Slut Of The Day!

February 16, 2014 / Posted by:

Wendy Garbo, the school slut from the “blink and you missed it” cartoon from the magical world of the 80s known as Galaxy High!

Galaxy High was only on TV screens for 3 months in 1986 and its lifespan lasted only 13 short episodes. It was just TOO forward for 1986 or maybe us children back then didn’t drop enough acid to fully appreciate its fuckery. I know I should think about Galaxy High at least once a day, but I hadn’t thought about it for a while until yesterday. Because I don’t love myself and like to torture my soul, I went to the mall on a goddamn Saturday afternoon. But it was worth it when I saw a chick wearing a Galaxy High t-shirt. I didn’t know that a Galaxy High t-shirt existed in this world. It was like seeing a ginger unicorn shit out a 2000 Malibu Road DVD box set. It was like watching Kanye mouth shit out a rant that makes total sense. It was like watching Lindsay Lohan sip a cup of chamomile tea without stirring 4 tablespoons of coke in it. I thought that a Galaxy High t-shirt was something that only existed in a far away fantasy land.

In case you went to one of those fucked-up colleges where the subject of 80s Cartoons wasn’t a mandatory course, Galaxy High was about two human teens from Earth who were chosen to go to a high school on an asteroid far away from Earth. It came from the brain of Chris Columbus and both Pat Carroll (aka the voice of Ursula the Sea Bitch) and Nancy Cartwright (aka the crazy Scientologist [that’s redundant I know] who is the voice of Bart Simpson) voiced characters for that shit. Of course, my favorite character from Galaxy High is Wendy Garbo. Wendy is described as the “school flirt” (read: the slut of Galaxy High) and she kept a black book of all the dudes in school. Wendy wore a live animal as a stole, so I don’t know if that makes her the #1 enemy or the #1 ally of AETA (Aliens for the Ethical Treatment of Animals). But what really makes Wendy HSOTD material is that she’s obviously the Teletubbies biological mother and they wouldn’t exist if she didn’t have a bareback orgy with a bunch of drunk Care Bears.

Here’s Galaxy High’s theme song which was written by Don Felder from the Eagles.

And now that I think about it, Galaxy High was obviously Scientology propaganda for chirruns.

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