Your choices are:
a) Karlotta Kardashian – The long-lost secret love child of Robert Kardashian and Ava Gardner who was later locked in an attic by Pimp Mama Kris, because that succubus whore was mad that Karlotta was more beautiful and natural than all of her spawn.
b) Little Ang – Big Ang’s younger, skinnier, shorter and more natural sister.
c) La Grande – La Pequena’s biological mother.
d) The real inspiration for all of OctoMom’s plastic surgeries. (Sorry, St. Angie.)
You probably didn’t read any of those choices since the ball of glitter you just hacked up after looking at this gorgeous portrait let you know that the answer is none of the above. It’s Richard Simmons! As he does most days, Richard Simmons put his collection of wigs and Wet ‘N’ Wild cosmetics to good use by dragging it up for Facebook. Eat his beauty (it’s low in calories, I think)!