After a whole week of NOPE-filled stories of Woody Allen and his not-right turtle-faced grossness (I could link to the Woody Allen posts, but instead here’s a picture of a dog cuddling a kitten) it’s nice to get back to business as usual: finding out who Rihanna is dropping her bad gyal coochie on. I never thought I would consider RiRi’s rode hard & put away wet ladybusiness a breath of fresh air, but here we are.
Sadly, RiRi’s new man isn’t her Number 1 Fan, Vin Diesel (no joke, that video makes me tear up EVERY TIME). The Daily Mail thinks Rihanna might be back to humping on Drake after they were spotted leaving Hooray Henry’s in West Hollywood together last night. RiRi exited the club first, then Drake followed shortly after, but they drove away in the same car which means they are 100% totally back together and you should get your ass to Crate & Barrel to buy them His and Hers hand towels. They also claim that back in November, the two were seen twice hitting up clubs (both strip and original recipe) but a source tells them RiRi and Wheelchair Jimmy aren’t ready for a commitment, so for now it’s just fucking. You hear that Vin? You have a chance buddy!
Here’s more of Rihanna and Drake leaving Hooray Henry’s last night. Let stop what we’re doing for a moment and bust out a group prayer for Drake’s sense of style; that Bart Simpson angel shirt is a fucking abomination. It’s like one tiny step higher than a button-up with an embroidered Calvin pissing on a Ford logo. I hope after RiRi was done doing the dirty ooh-na-na-na, she had the wherewithal to do Drake a solid favor by grabbing that tragic red shirt off the floor and destroying it: