In a scene that looks straight out of the first season 2 episode of Orange is the New Black, the dried dingle clinging to humanity’s overused butt plug gets frisked down and up by a police officer after he was arrested in Miami for doing hood rat stuff including driving drunk, drag racing and being an overall rusty thorn stuck in civilization’s last nerve. Miami Beach PD released this swaggy booking video of Justin Bieber taking off his shoes, taking off his shirt and spreading it to get frisked and patted down by a cop. The leaders of the Wild Kidz, who is also facing felony egging charges in L.A., knows the drill, because he has to do the exact same thing when he greets Usher. This is the greatest Justin Bieber video that Justin Biever has ever starred in. It’s like feel good medicine for your soul. But that cop is really brave. When he put his hand in Justin’s baggy shorts, he was risking sticking his fingers in the turdies that the Biebs dropped during his arrest.
And while this is going down, a dude in a cell watches on and wonders who that sweet-faced, pretty-mouthed young chicken in baggy culottes is. He’s calling dibs.