Because it’s a day that ends in a Y, Miley Cyrus is still flashing her backwoods boobies for anyone with a camera, and this time it’s for the classy European readers of German Vogue. The last time we saw her chipmunk chichis (NSFW), she looked like something that crawls way too quickly from behind the water heater in your parent’s basement when you turn the light on, but this time she actually looks…good? Great even? I’ll say great, but it’s all Mario Testino’s fault. While Terry Richardson is shooting people like they’re in Coco’s sad audition scene from Fame and Juergen Teller is living every day like it’s Violent Crime Scene Week, Mario Testino is able to take the grimiest skags and turn them into beautiful delicate peony blossoms.
As of right now, there is no interview to accompany these pictures, but if it’s anything like her recent W interview, I have a feeling it will sound a little something like this:
“Guten tag y’all! I just love Germany. One time, when I was like 6, my dad Billy Ray took me to Oktoberfest in Nashville, and I was like, y’all are blowing my mind with these pretzels! Also, one summer I got super obsessed with Rammstein – do y’all know the song Du Hast? – and then I read a book about that guy Hitler and World War 2 and I was like No Way, Germany! Y’all can’t let this guy get away with it! Hey, y’all wanna see my tits? Here you go! Ok, that’s everything! Auf Weidersehen, bitches!”
Here’s more pictures from Miley’s German Vogue shoot with horsie-censoring for obvious reasons (I don’t know how many of you have just eaten). I really like high fashion shoots because the photographer is trying to tell a story with each picture, and I think Mario Testino does a great job of telling the following stories: Ripping off Anna Nicole, Ripping off Madonna, and finally my personal favorite, Ripping off an old Frederick’s of Hollywood catalogue from 1997: