Another day, another sad chapter in the never-ending messiness that is the Allen-Farrow family saga. There’s not enough cat videos on the internet to cleanse my palate of this mess.
Woody Allen and Mia Farrow’s son Moses Farrow stood in his dad’s corner when he told People Magazine that his dad didn’t abuse his sister Dylan Farrow and Mia put that dark-sided thought in her head. Several people including Woody’s lawyer have said that Mia brainwashed Dylan into thinking Woody molested her. Dylan briefly responded to Moses’ claim and said that he’s wrong and he’s dead to her. Dylan talked to People Magazine again and went into why she wrote that open letter and how she feels about Moses calling her a lie-teller. Dylan says that she wanted to go public for a long time and she decided to do it after Ronan Farrow brought up the abuse in a tweet on Golden Globes night. Dylan tells People that when the letter went public, she knew a lot of people out there wouldn’t believe her.
“People are saying that I am not actually remembering what I remember. People are saying that my ‘evil mother’ brainwashed me because they refuse to believe that my sick, evil father would ever molest me, because we live in this society where victim blaming and inexcusable behavior – this taboo against shaming the famous at the expense of their victims – is accepted and excused. I knew there were people saying I was a liar and that this was part of some smear campaign – some bitter vendetta of my mother’s.”
But nothing hurt Dylan more than her brother Moses stamping the word “LIES!!!” in red on her open letter.
“My brother has broken my heart. Moses divorced himself from the family a long time ago. I always missed him. I loved him and I kept him in my thoughts. These lies – this betrayal – is unfathomable to me coming from a brother I loved and cherished and grew up with. I’m sorry. I’m shaking right now.
He has betrayed me in the cruelest way imaginable, and betrayed my family and my mother who has loved him since day one. His betrayal is the lowest form of evil that I could ever imagine.”
Moses burped out nothing but a river of lies, so says Dylan, and she goes on to say that her memories are true and it was hard for her to write that open letter, because she did love Woody Allen at one time. Dylan put her story out there to help other victims of abuse and now she’s getting revenge by living a happy life with her husband whom she met through a personal ad on The Onion.
“He is the most wonderful man in the world. When they say living well is the best revenge – I have that. My conscience is clean. I have told the truth. I cannot say the same for Moses. I love my family so much. We are a strong family. We are a loving family. We are a brave family. We are fighters. I love my mother so much. I am hoping to help at least one person out there. And that’s why I spoke out.”
I know this is an extremely serious story and should be handled with extreme seriousness, but after reading Dylan’s interview with People my only question was, “The Onion has a personal section?!” Since when? Is it a real dating site or do they troll your ass the only way The Onion can? When you go on there, do you magically find a personal ad that is one hundred percent perfect (example: a picture of a hot ginger wearing a Showgirls t-shirt while posing in front of the weed dispensary he owns)? You write your future soulmate and make plans to meet at the bar at T.G.I. Friday’s. Then after guzzling your third Barbados Rum Punch by yourself, you realize that you’ve been trolled by The Onion yet again, your soulmate was a fake, you ain’t getting any, love is a lie and you should’ve just stayed home and fapped to PornHub all night. Actually, I think I just described 99% of my online dating experiences.