Mayan Riviera Says Her Fiance “Wears The Pants” In Their Relationship

January 29, 2014 / Posted by:

Before we get to the meat of this story (and ‘meat’ is too generous a word; it’s really more like a rotten slice of Tofurky), can we talk about this Pimp Mama Kris-approved Cosmo cover and Naya Rivera’s fucking “I must become you” obsession with Kim Kardashian? Slow down, dummy! To be Kim, you must become Kim, and honey – you have to get up pretty early in the morning to out-famewhore a famewhore (a coat of asshole-colored gloss and contouring your nose into oblivion won’t cut it).

I wish I could say that Pasta Primavera’s obsession with Kim is limited to fucking up her face and wearing 2-sizes too-small skirts, but she recently told Cosmopolitan for Latinas (via Us Weekly) some things about her relationship that had me thinking “Dis here some Stepford Kimye shit”. When asked about her fiancé, rapper Big Sean, Naya pulled out the pamphlet DJ Tanner slipped into her purse and said this:

“I think he’s going to be an amazing husband, and he’ll make a great father someday,” Rivera says of her fiance. “He’s so kind to people, but he also wears the pants in our relationship, which I love. We Latinas are very independent and strong, so it’s even sweeter that I’ve found somebody who can let me out of that role for a minute.”

Cosmo then pulled her string a second time, but it got stuck after “Don’t ask me, I’m just a girl!” and she kept giggling for nearly 10 minutes until the battery died.

The term ‘wearing the pants’ gives me so much rage, and I don’t know if Dlisted is the right platform for a discussion on gender equality (Beyoncé: “Did somebody say feminist discourse on applied gender ethics?”) but for fucks sakes, will someone sit these young tricks down, put on some damn finger puppets, and explain like they’re 5 that it’s 2014 and we don’t use the term ‘wearing the pants’ anymore? Also, what the hell does ‘wearing the pants’ even really mean in this world of post-pants acceptance? Don’t most people wear pants? Are pants not universally popular? What are you wearing instead, Naya? Oh right; whatever Kanye told Kim to wear.

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