If Rogue in her old age retired from that boring X-Men shit and moved to Maui where she opened up a sandals boutique with her lesbian lover Sally and spent her free time making jooree from local materials, she still wouldn’t be a third as hot as Steven Tyler was when he went shopping for sunglasses in L.A. the other day. Steven Tyler made nipples harden when he displayed head-to-toe glamour from the Slimer jizz in his mane to the Smurf nails on his toes. When I first saw these thumbnails, I thought it was Lisa Vanderpump and then I slapped myself after I learned the truth. Lisa Vanderpump is a homely, down river hag compared to this luxurious beauty.
This picture might make you sad a little. Because the next time your mom shows off a sheer leopard blouse she bought at the Chico’s outlet, you’ll have to sit her down and tell her the cold, hard truth. You’ll have to tell her that Steven Tyler wore it first, and, gulp, he wore it better.