Her Chola Name Is Lil’ Stupid

January 24, 2014 / Posted by:

Thanks but no thanks; if I wanted the #6 combo of dumb white girl pretending to be a badass with a side of too-old-for-this, I’d go with the Original Recipe.

Last night, while the rest of us were aging gracefully into a pair of easy-fit pajama jeans and a pajancho (PJ comfort from fiesta to siestaLeAnn Rimes was busy squeezing her Beverly Hills Grandma-looking ass into a leather dress from the Anne Rice Interview With The Stripclub Manager collection and coating her luck dragon snout with neverending layers of 90’s emo teen lipstick for the Billboard 2014 Power 100 celebration. Power 100 what exactly? 100 most powerfully-annoying celebrities? Singers that make you use 100% of your willpower not to punch them in the face? What is it, Billboard? Tell me! Tell me why LeAnn was there!

But back to that I-Just-CAN’T lipstick. Is one of her stepsons going through a goth phase that she needs to copy? “OMG nobody understands me either! I’m, like, soooo depressed! Life sucks, right? I love cutting myself to get attention. Just kidding; when I want attention, I just go on Twitter and say nasty shit about your mom. PS – I’m the coolest, right?”

And my Say Something Nice is this: If I’m wrong, and this isn’t a picture of LeAnn, then Ron Perlman from Beauty and the Beast cleans up really well.

Here’s more of LeAnn posing like anyone even gives a rats-ass with the human sleaze-machine known as Eddie Cibrian. But you can call him Exclamation, because he’s making a statement without saying a word (and that statement is “Hey Dean, what’s the pussy situation like in rehab? Can anyone go?”)

(Pics via Splash)

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