While serving up some “glassy-eyed toddler after freebasing PediaCare for the first time” realness, Justin Bieber posed for his first ever celebrity mug shot after getting busted for DUI and drag racing. Patti Mallette better prepare the wall of pride above her fireplace now. The Biebs is getting a whole lot of shit thrown at him for turning the streets of Miami into a death zone, but I’m going to focus on the positive. At least he’s smiling in his mug shot. At least he’s not making the “amateur bottom suffering from constipation after getting plowed by a dozen tops in a butt sex orgy” face he always makes. Bitch is giving it to the camera. Congrats to Orange is the New Black’s marketing team, because this is their season 2 poster.