While talking to E! News at the ABC TCAs a few days ago, Connie Britton turned that shit into an episode of Before They Were Stars when she said that Scandal’s Katie Lowes, who was also there, used to be her son’s nanny. After Connie said that, people (including Brandon who sent this in to me) who watched Katie on Jimmy Kimmel Live a few months ago suddenly got the image of Katie holding Connie’s baby over the toilet while making shit chanting grunts to lure the caca out of his butt. It’s a living, I guess. Katie told Jimmy that before she got the job on Scandal, she had a bunch of shitty jobs, but the shittiest job (punned on purpose) she ever had was working as a babysitter for a crazy-brained celebrity who didn’t like her baby wearing diapers. It wasn’t a medical thing. Katie said that cloth diapers were around for emergencies or whatever (Side note: If I was that nanny, it would be ALWAYS be an emergency), but she mostly had to rely on the baby letting her know that it was toilet time by making the face you make every time you watch an episode Keeping Up With The Kartrashians.
At the 1:15 mark below, Katie shits out the story and since she signed her name in blood on a non-disclosure agreement she wouldn’t give up the name of crazy bitch who won’t let her baby’s ass be imprisoned by Pampers.
I know a check is a check and I’ve done grosser and more painful things for less money (see: working as a telemarketer for about 6 hours), but damn. I’ll never know how Katie’s shit-summoning grunts didn’t turn into laughs. She should’ve just put on a Justin Bieber song, turned her head and held her breath. That baby’s butt wouldn’t have stopped barfing. Connie (whose ginger hair I just want to roll around on) might’ve outed herself as a member of The Anti-Diaper League, but I’m still not sure. I don’t know if Connie is the “hold my baby over the toilet and make him shit like a bird” type. Yeah, I’m going to go with Alicia Silverstone. Eat like a bird, shit like a bird.
Here’s Connie and her kid Eyob at LAX a couple of days ago.