Prince Hot Ginge sees ASKars’ naked on a toilet in the South Pole and raises him a drinking champagne out of a prosthetic leg.
Just days after millions of PHG-loving whores searched the sewers in London for any pieces of the fire beard he shaved off, a freshly shaven PHG showed his face at a press conference in London today to talk about his Walking with the Wounded trek to the South Pole. Actor type Dominic West, who was PHG’s team, convinced me to move to Iceland and become a trucker. Because after they got to the South Pole, they got drunk on some homemade sweet nectar with Icelandic truckers and PHG drank champagne out of a solider’s prosthetic leg. Dominic also told reporters that when PHG wasn’t spitting out dirty jokes that’ll make your nipples hard and moist, he was building toilets. What happens in the South Pole doesn’t stay in the South Pole.
Dominic on how Prince Hot Ginge might’ve built the toilet that ASkars’ naked body sat on: “He would often reach the meeting point before the rest of his men and would build these incredibly lavish, castellated latrines, with battlements and loo roll holders. It must have taken him 40 minutes at least to build, they were just fabulous. I would often sit on the latrine thinking “this is a royal flush in every way!”
Dominic on how they partied hard with Icelandic truckers and turned a prosthetic leg into an exquisite champagne flute: “Two of the Aussie guys stripped naked and ran round the pole but most of us, Harry included, just went on a two-day bender with the Icelandic truck drivers who had brought some lethal home brew with them. There was a lot of liqueur drunk. We all drank champagne out of Duncan’s (Slater, a double amputee injured in Afghanistan in 2009, who was on the British team) favourite prosthetic legs.”
Dominic on PHG’s dirty mouth: “Well he told some eye-wateringly rude jokes which for a non-soldier like me was pretty shocking!”
So I’m sitting here wondering how in the hell can I go to the South Pole with PHG, get drunk on homemade Icelandic sweet nectar with him and sit on one of his personally crafted toilets. Let’s see, all I have to do is gain a whole lot of bravery, enlist in the military, get drafted to a war zone, fight in a war, etc…etc… I mean, if Tommy Girl can do it. And yeah, I shook my head “no, not going to happen” at “gain a whole lot of bravery.”
And Duncan Slater’s prosthetic leg: Yes, yes I would. Well, PHG put his lips on it!