Um, where do I submit my application/credentials to be the red carpet fluffer at next year’s SAG Awards?
Before a bunch of actors went into the Shrine Auditorium in L.A. to suck each other off while accepting their SAG Award, Bradley Cooper got a little dude-on-dude action on the red carpet. You’re probably looking at that picture and thinking, “John Travolta lost a bunch of chunk and finally got a believable wig!” That picture does look like the Scientology version of taking communion.
At first I thought the dude on his knees was Leonardo DiCatchAHo and B. Coop lured him to his crotch by putting Victoria’s Secret Angel wings on his dick. But E! says that the dude who got a face full of Cooper crotch is Ukrainian prankster Vitalii Sediuk. Vitalii tried to crash Adele’s speech at the Grammy’s last year but JLo’s hungry hungry hippo ass swallowed him up and spit him out in the parking lot. When B. Coop, Mandy Patinkin and Michael Pena realized that Vitalii was turning that red carpet into a glory hole (without the wall), they laughed, they picked him up and the crotch sniffer was escorted off of the carpet. Surprisingly, he didn’t get his ass whooped. So when some Ukrainian prankster puts his face on a dude’s dick area without permission, he’s gently escorted out of the area. But when I do the same thing with a fellow consenting gay at Runyon Canyon Park, I get tased by the police and dragged off to jail. Got it.
Here’s more of B. Coop and the other dudes of the SAG Awards.
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B. Coop, the SAG fluffer, Mandy Patinkin and Michael Pena
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B. Coop, the SAG fluffer, Mandy Patinkin and Michael Pena
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B. Coop, the SAG fluffer, Mandy Patinkin and Michael Pena
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B. Coop, the SAG fluffer, Mandy Patinkin and Michael Pena
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B. Coop, the SAG fluffer, Mandy Patinkin and Michael Pena
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B. Coop
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B. Coop
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Barkhad Abdi with date
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Barkhad Abdi with guest
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Michael Douglas
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Michael Douglas
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Kit Harington
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Kit Harington
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Peter Dinklage
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Peter Dinklage
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Bendadick Cumsinbatches
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Bendadick Cumsinbatches
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Jared Leto with his mom
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Jared Leto
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Matt Damon with Luciana Barroso
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Matt Damon
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The Texas T-Rex with Camila Alves
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The Texas T-Rex
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Mimi with Nick Cannon
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Mimi with Nick Cannon
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Morgan Freeman with Rita Morneo
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Morgan Freeman with Rita Moreno
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Chiwetel Ejiofor with his girlfriend Sari Mercer
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Forest Whitaker with his wife Keisha Whitaker
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Josh Holloway
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Josh Holloway
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Bryan Cranston
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Jeremy Renner with Amy Adams
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Aaron Paul
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Aaron Paul
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Kevin Spacey
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Kevin Spacey
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Jeremy Irons
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Jeremy Irons
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Damian Lewis
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Damien Lewis
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Jason Bateman
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Pics: Getty, Splash, Wenn.com
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