Hot Slut Of The Day!

January 18, 2014 / Posted by:

Sticky Hands! 

Sticky Hands were these “toys” that came in colored eggs and you could get them for a quarter, or two quarters, from those machines outside of supermarkets or Pic ‘N’ Save or wherever. You can probably still get them today, but because of inflation they probably cost $10 and the machines only take Visa, MasterCard, PayPal or Square Cash. There wasn’t much to Sticky Hands. The hands looked like the hands of a swole’d up pregnant chick who just had an allergic reaction to something and the arms were almost skinnier than Nicole Richie’s arms. You’d slap that shit on the walls and watch it stick. You’d slap it on your friend’s face or your friend’s ass. You’d slap it everywhere. And now that I think about it, pedophiles probably wished they could shapeshift into Sticky Hands.

After a while, Sticky Hands lost its stickiness as it got covered in dust, carpet shit and dog hair. I still didn’t throw that shit away when it stopped working. I stapled all of my broken Sticky Hands to the walls inside of my closet. I had at least 5 pairs of busted Sticky Hands stapled to my closet walls. My mom probably thought I was going to grow up to be a serial killer.

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