The Mayor and First Lady of Geelong, Victoria in Australia!
If you already know who these sparkling jewels of Australia are, then I’m going to assume that you’re reading this from your apartment in Geelong, because as soon as you found out that King Koopa’s middle-aged frat boy raver brother became mayor, you immediately quit your job, packed up your entire life and moved there. If you didn’t know who these sparkling jewels of Australia were, then I’m sure you’re not reading this since you’re in the middle of quitting your job and packing up your entire life to move to Geelong. Because who wouldn’t want to live in a city whose mayor makes you want to put on a Super Mario costume before jumping on his head?
Darryn Lyons is an Australian paparazzo who founded the photo agency Big Pictures in London and in 2011 he made all of us squirt jizz out of our eye sockets when he showed off his totally natural heroes in a half-shell abs on Celebrity Big Brother. Darryn moved back to Australia and ran for the Mayor of Portia de Rossi and Guy Pearce’s hometown last year. Since many of the citizens of Geelong just couldn’t say no to a candidate who buys his clothes from a community theater costume department and looks like a rainbow shat on his head, he got 30 percent of the votes. The 70 percent who didn’t vote for Darryn were immediately forced to take a class in elegance and refinement since they obviously need to be educated in those subjects.
The molded piece of Play-Doh in homeless ho couture is Darryn’s fiancee, Elissa Friday, a reality show trick turned chef. And now they’re the Mayor and First Lady of Geelong! Yes, I typed that while jealousy dripped from my fingertips.
(Pic via Facebook) (For Chris)