TMZ got a hold of a video of everyone’s least favorite ingrown ass hair Shia LaDouche filling a bar in London with the vomit-inducing scent of boiled douche water by screaming into the face of some dude. Shia, his brow-less girlfriend Mia Goth and Mia’s mother were all at a pub called Hobgoblin in South London tonight when apparently the “some dude” starting talking trash. The dude talked shit about Mia’s mom, so Shia defended her honor by going full Kanye on a trick. (Or does Kanye go full Shia? Developing…) Shia gets in the baldie’s face and screams “What did you just say?” at least 5,834 times while his girlfriend tries to get him to leave. TMZ says that Shia “headbutts” the dude, but if that’s a headbutt then most of us have “headbutted” on a first date. Because if you slow that down while listening to a Foreigner song, it’ll look like he’s going forehead-to-forehead before tongue kissing that dude. That headbutt is as threatening as a kitten pawing the air.
As we all know, Shia pulled another STUNT QUEEN trick recently by dramatically announcing his retirement from public life. After watching this mess of a video, here’s some other things Shia should retire from:
1. Getting drunk in public – Because when he does it he ends up ruining innocent people’s buzzes and he usually gets his ass kicked.
2. Headbutting tricks – Because he’s obviously terrible at doing that.
3. Going out in public – I know this cancels out #1, but he should just stay inside and not go out in public anymore. Bitch just doesn’t know how to act right.