Here are two facts you’ll probably be surprised to learn:
1. On this planet, a Trace Adkins impersonator exists.
2. There was a country cruise to Jamaica and only ONE brawl happened on it. When you put a bunch of country fans on a boat full of booze, I expect it to be Halloween night at a Denny’s in Oakland every night.
TMZ says that Trace Adkins, who’s been sober for 12 years, was the headliner of a country cruise to Jamaica and on Monday he jumped off the wagon and put his fist in his impersonator’s face. A Trace Adkins impersonator was singing karaoke (please tell me he was singing a Trace Adkins song) in one of the bars on the ship when, for whatever reason, the real Trace Adkins attacked him. I was going to pray for video of real Trace and fake Trace fighting, but nothing will beat the image in my head. It’s like an extra large cup of 100 proof HAHAHAs. And naturally, when the ship got to Jamaica, Trace jumped off and checked his ass into rehab. I’m pretty sure the real Trace checked into rehab and not the fake Trace. But if it was the fake Trace, then all the other fake Traces out there better beware, because the real Trace is coming for them.
Trace’s rep spit out this statement to People:
“Trace has entered a treatment facility after a setback in his battle with alcoholism.As he faces these issues head-on, we ask that his family’s privacy will be respected.”
Well, the good news is that Trace doesn’t have to strain his brain while writing a messy country song about how he drunkenly beat himself up on a cruise ship to Jamaica, because that shit writes itself.