Today in Calabasas, CA, the police raided a white dude’s house and arrested the black guy. Oh, America! While the police were searching Justin Bieber’s house for any kind of evidence that can connect him to the egging of his next door neighbor’s ass, they found a bag of molly or coke or some kind of illegal drug. Justin Bieber’s friend Lil Za, who also lives there, was arrested, because his ass knows who pays the bills and who buys the drugs, so he took the fall.
Lil Za was booked for felony drug possession, his mug shot of beauty was taken and he had to marinate in a jail cell for a little bit before he was released. But because Lil Za is as good at making decisions as Justin Bieber is, he threw a tantrum and broke a phone in the jailhouse. TMZ says that the anal bead-brained idiot was minutes away from freedom. The cops arrested his ass again and booked him for vandalism.
Lil Za is a bonda fide dumb fuck for taking the fall for his sugar daddy even if his sugar daddy pays all the bills. I’m all for being down for your sugar daddy, but there’s a line somewhere. (Yes, we live in a weird world where Justin Bieber is the “daddy” in a relationship.) But Lil Za is really a bona fide dumb fuck for beating that phone up while in jail. I bet Lil Za was on the phone with Justin and Justin let him know that he’d have to sleep in the guest room tonight. Justin and Lil Twist want the bed to themselves tonight. No cuddlies turn Lil Za into an angry bitch.
And I hate that every time I see Lil Za’s dumb name somewhere, I read it as LiZa and I get excited for a quick second before learning the sad, sad truth.