Hot Slut Of The Day!

This snoozing boxer was supposed to be yesterday’s HSOTD since he’s obviously a fellow Monday hater, but then Queen Jacqueline Bisset, who could ramble through an alarm, a siren, an Andrew W.K. show, a Kanye rant, a nuclear war and everything else, happened, so here we are now.

Kermit the boxer’s human, who I think lives in the basement of a frat house that hasn’t been renovated since 1973, writes in the YouTube description that he kept getting up past the time he set his alarm for and he didn’t know what was happening until he recorded a video of his dog hitting the snooze bar on that shit. I’m sure we all feel Kermit’s pain, because waking up to the sound of an alarm feels like the core of your soul is getting stabbed repeatedly with a hot shank. But what would Kermit rather suffer through: waking up to an alarm or eating dirt pies from his cardboard dog house under a freeway overpass? Because the latter could happen if Kermit’s human keeps showing up late to work, loses his job and gets evicted from his 1970s frat house basement bedroom.

Kermit’s owner should just do what I do. I use my iPhone as an alarm clock and I always set it to vibrate. I usually wake up about 30 minutes before it goes off, so I just grab it off of my nightstand and put it under the pillow my head is lying on. When it goes off, it feels like someone’s waving a giant vibrator in my ear. Wouldn’t you rather wake up to the sound of a vibrator fucking you in the ear?

via Gawker