“Heeeeeeeeeere’s Jesus!”

Thanks to Uncle Terry and his man muse Jared Leto, you now know what it would look like if a hipster Jesus starred in a gay porn parody of The Shining. The hairy nipples and wet American Apparel chonies are really the stars of this pic.

Uncle Terry shat up these pictures on his Tumblr yesterday of Jordan Catalano looking like a greasy, coked up, mostly waxed Jesus in Tulum, Mexico. Never mind that Uncle Terry will shoot a close-up of a pore on a chick’s clit yet there’s a big white towel covering Jesus Jared’s “hurt like Satan” dick in almost all of these pictures, I still don’t know how it’s possible that Jared Leto is 42 years old. Jared Leto looks so damn young that even noted cradle robber Taylor Swift is trying to get on that. What is the secret to his youthful beauty? Does he maintain his youth by sacrificing a stolen newborn baby to Papa Legba ever year? Don’t even say that the fountain of youth is Uncle Terry’s dick and Jared keeps his youthful pretty intact by getting Uncle Terry jizz facials during their vacations together, because that’s obviously not true. I mean, Lindsay Lohan has probably been there, done that, swallowed it and smeared it and look at her.

Pics: Terry’s Diary