After Ricky Gervais was quickly shanked like a prison yard snitch for being too real at the 69th Golden Globe Awards, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler were brought in to be funny, but not too funny (aka don’t be Ricky, or there will be a sharpened toothbrush handle with your names on it). Despite my skepticism, I thought they did a good job last year, especially when they took that strawberry-scented Holly Hobby doll Taylor Swift to task with the world’s tamest Taylor Swift joke, a joke which hurt Princess Tay-tay’s feeling enough for her to use Vanity Fair as her own personal Burn Book . Remember this quote from Taylor?
“There’s a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women.”
Just like Pepperidge Farms, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler remember. And last night (deep breath) Tina and Amy managed to quote Taylor’s quote about Tina and Amy as Taylor was sitting in the audience right in front of them. After Amy won for Best Actress in a TV Series, Comedy for her role as Leslie Knope on Parks and Recreation, Tina said:
“I love you, and there’s a special place in hell for you.”
And that’s when I erased my grade of B and bumped it up to an A+++, two thumbs up, and 5 Amazon stars for their hosting duties. That Vanity Fair article came out last March. March. It’s January. That means Tina has been sitting on that diss for 10 months. You know what that’s called? Jedi-level trolling. BOW DOWN, BITCHES.
Of course, they did have some other good non-Taylor jokes last night:
Poehler: “A very good evening to everyone here in the room, and to all the women and gay men watching at home.”
Fey: “Gravity is nominated for Best Motion Picture. It’s the story of how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die than spend one more minute with a woman his own age.”
Poehler: “Masters of Sex is the degree I got from Boston College.”
Then Tina made a sort of not-right joke about The Black List and Somali pirates, and the pencil I was taking notes with quit that bitch. But overall, good job ladies!