Part of being a hipster is that you purposefully make yourself look as busted and sloppy as possible, because fug is beautiful or something like that. That’s the only reason I can come up with for why Lena Dunham keeps doing this shit to herself. I watched the Golden Globes with my mom last night and she had a lot of opinions about all the dresses, but when Lena Dunham came up on the screen with her body shoved into a yellow satin sausage casing, my mom shut her lips and just shook her head back and forth. There were no words, there were just silent judgements.
Bitch was a disaster from that orange lipstick smeared all over her butter teeth to her dressing fitting as well as a Bieber-sized condom on Tommy Lee’s dick to her small titties looking like they were gasping for air. Maybe if she stood up straight and didn’t slouch like she was about to answer Dr. Frankenstein’s front door, her titties wouldn’t look like they needed an oxygen mask, a hug and some chamomile tea.
But then again, if she did stand up straight and move those titties into a comfortable place, she probably wouldn’t look like an overfilled piss bag and that’s probably the look she was going for. Those hipsters.