Afternoon Crumbs

January 13, 2014 / Posted by:

Chris Martin and Goopy Paltrow sat next to each other at the Golden Globes and I’m wondering why the news didn’t report about all the dozens of people who had to be treated for hypothermia from being exposed to the frosty cunt chill between them? - Lainey Gossip

Something I haven’t noticed before: Benadryl Cumsinbatch’s eyebrows are shaped like the profile of a feet-less ferret – Celebitchy

Evander Holyfield dribbles out an incoherent non-apology for dribbling out an incoherent anti-gay rant – Towleroad

Sending Kim and Kuntye Kardashian into space is a quick way for all the lifeforms on other planets to declare war on us – Reality Tea

That’s not a flash, that’s the Eye of Sauron - The Superficial

How to turn your boring old pick-up truck pool into a water ride – Drunken Stepfather

Sofia Vergara’s chichis are magnificent, but that thirsty, over-processed, malnourished hair needs an IV drip full of Pedialyte – Hollywood Tuna

Clothes: These random everyday panty creamers are wearing too many – The Berry

Vicodin dreams do come true! Paula Abdul is going to be on the upcoming season of RuPaul’s Drag Race - Jezebel

Tonya Harding just passed her hit man business card to Mirai NagasuPopsugar

Not pictured: the oxygen mask that Kristen Stewart makes the paps wear so she won’t have to breath in the same air as them – Popoholic

Kate Beckinsale was at the Golden Globes because Phoebe Price’s seat filling services were needed at another event – IDLYITW

This will make sense when I tell you that Debbie Downer was E!’s Fun Fact writer – OMG Blog

Michael Douglas is Ant-Man, whatever that means – Pajiba

Robin Wright and Ben Foster almost look the same age here, so either she’s sucking the youth of him or she’s glowing from getting some dick that isn’t attached to Sean PennICYDK

Queen Jacqueline Bisset blames her hungry stomach, and not Xanax, for why she gave the speech of all speeches – HuffPo

Glee is staying in NYC for the rest of the season – Just Jared

Shakira and RiRi did a duet and surprisingly enough it doesn’t totally sound like two goats having painful ass sex – Popbytes

Pic is so blurry that it could be Sandy Duncan sucking on Chaz Bono’s newly skinny face for all we know – I’m Not Obsessed

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